Lisa Tener

Book Writing Coach

Writer's Block

Her Muse Gave Her a Stethoscope

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The other morning, I led a doctor through my Meet Your Muse exercise to help her access her inner guidance about which book to write first—the one for other doctors or the one for patients.

Her muse was clear—the one for patients. Before she left the scene, I invited her to ask whether her muse wanted her to know anything else.

stethoscope

“I see a stethoscope. I thought I’d create health education for people and leave my medical practice over time because the system is so broken. But I suppose my muse says I will keep a private practice.”

I’m careful not to project onto other people’s imagery, so I said, “If this were a daydream of mine, the stethoscope might symbolize the message to listen to my heart. Does that resonate at all?”

She smiled broadly and laughed. “Of course. That feels right.” She felt delighted by this personal and apropos symbol from her muse. She continued, “I recently stopped taking two major types of insurance because what they pay me cannot sustain me and my team—my assistant, the office, the billing service. But my colleagues look at my actions and think I’m crazy. They say, ‘You have a successful practice; how can you limit it so much? How will you survive?”

On Looking Crazy from the Outside

The doctor added, “I always think outside the box—with my patients and practice. I see a broken system and can’t just do things that way.”

book coach Lisa Tener

I smiled and shared with her that when you’re a visionary with a mission to offer leadership in an industry, what you do will likely look crazy initially, but it will suddenly look normal in twenty years. You’re just ahead of the pack.

I know that many of my readers are like this doctor. You’re doing things differently. You’re breaking new ground, seeing new opportunities and ways of doing things that others can’t see yet. It may feel lonely and weird and scary. You may even believe people saying, “You’re crazy.”

But know that as a visionary, the world will look different to you. And your purpose will require you to do stuff that doesn’t make sense from the outside. People may judge you, call you names, and invite you to question yourself.

Trust yourself. Listen to your heart. Maybe your muse has a stethoscope for you.

And write that book! Your way. Help the world catch up to your vision, wisdom, and gifts.

She Had to Write Her Dad Before Writing About Family

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Writing about family can be tricky—and scary!

In a recent Get Your Writing Done session Marleise (not her real name) shared that she did some journaling during the first hour and found herself writing a letter to her dad. My first response (thankfully, I did not share it aloud) was, “Why aren’t you writing your book?” — silently judging her process.

writing about family in a journal

I’ve been a coach long enough to know that was my inner critic blurting in my brain and I returned my attention to just listening as Marleise continued. “My father is an alcoholic, and I just needed to write to him about my childhood experience.

“I want to write about alcoholism, but I realized I couldn’t do that until I wrote it to him first. I’m not even sure I’ll send it. I knew I had to do this to free myself up for the other writing.”

Healing Instincts Free Us Up to Write

Family secrets are often the hardest to write about. We can feel the invisible chains and walls that fight to keep our secrets down in the dungeons of our psyches and keep us imprisoned by them, our creativity stifled, our life force diminished, our personal power on “low.”

Breaking those chains and walking through the prison doors is difficult.

And often, the first step is not to break the chains and walk out the door. Instead, it’s a smaller baby step. Maybe we start by digging a tunnel out of prison with a spoon from the dining hall—one tiny scoop of dirt at a time.

writing about my father
With my Dad, Martin Tener

Marleise’s instinct to write her dad is an empowering one. She described the freedom she felt in writing the letter. And interestingly, she may not even send it.

This is common—the need to address a person from the past in writing, but not necessarily in person. Just the act of writing can provide the liberation needed to write about family with ease and break through writer’s block.

What Happens When Writers Ignore Their Truth

My grandmother STella Andre
My grandmother, Stella Andre. It felt like breaking a taboo when I first wrote about her in a blog post.

I mentioned writer’s block, but there are other risks when we try to leap over or skirt around the full story, especially when writing about family.

In my experience as a book coach, I have found that when writers try to write one part of the story and leave out the uncomfortable parts, they end up with half a story. And readers can sense that. They’ll feel unsatisfied, frustrated, resentful or even angry.

That doesn’t mean you must publish everything, but I believe you must confront it all. Write even the parts that you won’t publish. There’s something about the process that imbues the finished product with total energy vs. leaving the reader feeling cheated or deceived.

Give a Heads Up to People in Your Memoir

Fifteen years ago I wrote a post when a client expressed concern that writing about family and publishing her memoir might hurt others. She knew her fears held her back, yet she also knew she didn’t want to cause harm. I suggested a five-step process, so she could be present with the full impact of her story and weigh what to include and what to, perhaps, leave out.

Writing about family can upset people.

In another instance, I worked with an author who worried about how her family members might react to personal stories in her book. She offered to let her adult children and husband read the book and told them, “You can let me know if there’s something you’re uncomfortable with, but I can’t promise that I’ll take it out.” In this way, she retained artistic control and respected their need to know what was in the book before the world learned. There was nothing that painted them badly, but she knew they might feel uncomfortable about another relative’s fall from grace.

Having a plan for addressing family members ahead of time helped her overcome her fears, write her book proposal, get an agent, sign a book contract with a traditional publisher, write the book, get published and promote that book in the national media and even internationally.

Sharing your stories is no small thing. If you try to ignore the part of you that feels uncomfortable, you’re more likely to get stuck. Embrace the resistance by “going public” in small steps with people you trust.

Read More On Writing About Family

In this author interview, Robert Wolf, MD, shares his experience writing about family, particularly the story of his father’s escapes during the Holocaust.

Your Turn

If you’re writing a memoir or other personal story, especially one about family, or if that is even one aspect of your writing project, and you’re feeling stuck, consider whether there’s a healing step, some personal growth or healing you need to address in order to liberate your muse and turn the spigot on for creative flow.

What’s your experience with writing about family secrets or other verboten topics? How do you come to terms with the potential ramifications while also staying true to yourself and your story?

How to Get Unstuck by Asking Questions (About Your Book)

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I’ve been trying to make room in my bloated Gmail account by deleting old emails. If I were a bit more courageous, I suppose I would delete all these emails from 2015 and 2016 en masse and assume that any information I need I can find elsewhere. Or else it’s worth my time to lose some of this, even if I don’t have it elsewhere.

But I’m not that evolved.

Yet.

So, I plod along.

And on my plodding journey, today I discovered…

Book coach Lisa Tener "Get Unstuck"
  • A submission to the Writer’s Digest “Reject-a-Hit” column which got rejected. Yet, rereading it, I still feel proud (so was my editor). Bummed all over again by rejection but also kinda like, “Wow, I wrote that and it’s pretty darn funny. Could I submit it somewhere else? Post it on my blog? Will I offend people if I do?”
  • An eight-year-old recommendation from a literary agent friend to check out the monthly updates on a shaman’s website. I finally did, and it’s pretty good. But I don’t think I’ll reread it. And yet, I still haven’t deleted the recommendation. Do I have a problem?
  • A list of questions for a client to ask her creative muse.

I liked the questions for the muse. In fact, I liked them so much that I thought I’d share them with you in case you want to ask your muse for similar support—to experience a breakthrough, fall back in love with your writing, foster inspiration, make better progress, stop procrastinating and get unstuck.

Questions to Ask Your Muse

questions about target market

As you likely know, I love to guide writers/authors in the exercise to list their challenges in their writing practice and with their particular projects. Then we come up with the questions to ask their inner muse / creative source during a guided visualization that I call “Meet Your Muse.” (The link leads to the audio to guide you. But first read below to gather some questions for your muse).

The questions I sent this particular writer seemed like good overall questions for anyone who wants to get unstuck, has lost some of their passion for a project, or just isn’t making the book (or another project) enough of a priority. Here are the questions:

  • How to fall in love with my book?
  • How can I enjoy the process?
  • How do I bring back some healthy habits that fell by the wayside, like meditation and yoga, and still have time for writing my book?
  • How can I make time for related projects, especially those that develop a community of future readers, like creating an author website (or engaging on social media), and what does my muse say about timing?
  • How to keep it simple?

Asking “Seed Questions” to Get Unstuck

"Becoming an Empowered Projector"

This also reminded me of a very cool book I am reading in the arena of Human Design (a fascinating field that helps us understand our inner makeup so that we use the strategies of decision-making and action-taking that work well with our personal “type” (of 5 types)). I’m a “projector” in the human design system, meaning someone who is meant to guide others and be of service and not meant to focus too much on productivity or burn out.

The book, Becoming an Empowered Projector by Evelyn Levenson, mentions “seed questions” which help bring about what you desire. Forget affirmations! Seed questions foster curiosity and allow the answers you need to come naturally and with ease, requiring little effort on your part.

Some seed question examples:

  • What would it feel like to make progress on my book throughout the week?
  • What would it be like to complete my book this year?
  • What would it look like to write consistently and feel excited about my writing?
Lisa Tener Book coach
Your Book Writing Coach

You can meditate on the question or explore it in your journal. Then, let it go and let your unconscious mind work with nature to bring it to fruition. So why do seed questions often work better than affirmations?

  • Affirmations can create an in-your-face experience of how you don’t resonate with what you desire, and that can often work against you manifesting your vision or goals.
  • Seed questions don’t require you to keep repeating. Instead, you can gently connect with the desire and then let it go and trust. EASE!

Read more about HUMAN DESIGN FOR WRITERS here.

Your Turn

What gets you unstuck? What challenges are coming up for you? Please share your experiences or questions in a comment below.

Rekindle Your Writing Dreams

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Perhaps you dream of writing a book. Or starting a blog. Or reading your poetry on your favorite radio station one day.

But today, it doesn’t feel like you’ll ever get there.

This post is for you if:

  • You’ve stopped writing altogether.
  • You write infrequently.
  • You write, but you just don’t feel inspired. Maybe you even hate what you wrote.
  • You’re not quite connecting to the original project. Something’s changed and it’s holding you back.

Revisit Your Writing Dream

Lisa journaling

When you started your book or blog or poetry or journaling, what did you dream would happen?

  • Did you envision your writing might change you and your life in some ways? How?
  • How did you envision your writing would affect your readers (if you envisioned a public project and not just writing for yourself?
  • What impact did you hope your writing might have on your community or the world?

Consider these dreams again. Perhaps they’ve changed a bit. Maybe you no longer want to write nonfiction but you want to return to a childhood love of poetry. Or maybe your audience is shifting from a broad audience to a more niche group of readers? Maybe your personal or business goals have changed. If so, it’s time to revisit your dream and revise!

Dream Deeper

Imagine you’ve completed the writing project and published it or read it publicly.

author speaking with book
Carrie Rowan’s book Tell a New Story led to training and speaking gigs where she sings on stage!
  • Where do you share it?
  • What does it feel like to publish or share your writing?
  • What do you imagine people saying afterward about how your book or other writing affected them?
  • What new activities do you find yourself enjoying since publishing your work?

Now go even deeper, close your eyes for five minutes and daydream about it. Then try one or more of these lists:

  • List five emotions you would like to feel when you publish or share your work. You can choose from this list of emotions.
  • List 5 activities or opportunities that your writing may open up for you.
  • List 5 places you might go to share your writing or teach the lessons in your book, etc.
  • List 5 people you’d love to be interviewed by.
  • List 5 wonderful things people might say to you about your writing.
  • If your old project isn’t doing it for you, list 5 new things you might write or write about.

Now pick a couple of these possible experiences and write about them as you imagine them in detail.

Are You Inspired Yet?

You can also reinvigorate your passion for writing by reading some of your previous work. Don’t judge but read rather for delight. Find words or phrases you enjoy. You may surprise yourself!

Once you feel re-inspired by your writing dreams, you may want to troubleshoot, to see if you need to change your thinking, your habits or your support network to stay connected to your writing dreams and to stay on track to realize those dreams.

Make Time

schedule time
Photo by Windows on Unsplash

The first thing to do is make time for writing. This may likely involve taking some things off your plate to make more time for writing.

  • You can also find time by going to bed a half hour earlier and waking up a half hour earlier to write.
  • Schedule writing time in your calendar and keep it sacred. Otherwise, it’s too easy for your day to come and go with no writing progress made.
  • Consider making writing a daily habit (or a 5-day-a-week habit).
  • Return to your writing dreams any time you find yourself drifting off course and neglecting the writing.
  • Find a way to be accountable: a writing accountability partner, a writing coach/editor or a writing community.

Fire Your Inner Saboteur

Almost all writers have experienced that inner critic that says, “You’re not good enough,” “No one will ever read this,” “Boring,” “Blah” or feel free to fill in your negative self-talk _______________________________________.

Thank the critic for its opinion and beg to differ. Some new replacement thoughts you can choose include, “I know I have this passion for a reason and I’m going to pursue it,” “I enjoy writing and I’m just going to see where it goes,” “I can write a crummy first draft and get feedback from beta readers or editors to improve it later,” “I remember when I won that poetry prize; I must have some skill,” “The more I write, the better my writing will get,” or, “I’m just going to experiment and have fun writing today; no pressure.”

Just Start Writing

time
Photo by Abdul A on Unsplash

Set an alarm with a commitment to start writing when it rings. Use your outline to find a place in the project you feel inspired to begin with today. Or use a prompts journal if you don’t have a specific project in mind. Journaling can serve as a gateway to new ideas or can spark creativity before diving into your bigger project.

You can time yourself and say, “I’ll just write for 15 minutes,” for example. Set a timer. When those 15 minutes are up, stretch a little, take a few deep breaths and then reset the time to write more. Small increments can make it feel easier.

Your Turn

What’s the best advice you’ve ever received when you felt stuck? Or what advice have you given yourself or others to get back in the flow of inspiration? Share your advice in a comment below.

How to Overcome 7 Common Writing Struggles & Setbacks

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Lisa Tener book coach

It happens to everyone. You write and write and feel inspired and then boom.
Or thud.
You’re just not writing.
Maybe you avoid it.
Maybe you sit at your desk but nothing comes.
Or maybe you are writing but hate it. The passion has leaked out of you and you’re left with blah blah blah.

There’s hope.

How to Overcome the 7 Most Common Writing Struggles

Setback #1: You Just Can’t Make Time

time to write
Photo by Jon Tyson on Unsplash

Does this sound like you? You vaguely have this writing goal, but you don’t actually sit your butt in the chair to write. 

Solutions: You need to get that butt in the chair. What can help? Reconnect with your passion and reasons for writing.

Then schedule the writing time into your calendar with specific dates, locations and times. 

Too much on your plate? Unless you’re a wizard with magical powers to stretch time, you’ll need to clear some commitments off your plate or delegate so you can create the time and space for writing. This needs to come before scheduling time or you’re likely to just berate yourself over not making it.

Setback #2: Lack of Inspiration

You actually sit butt in said chair but nothing comes.

Solution: Do you have an outline or structure? With a strong outline, you don’t actually need to write things in order. Go where you feel most inspired and work from your outline. 

If you still don’t feel inspired, try a writing prompt and use the prompt exercise as a gateway into a state of flow for your bigger writing project. Or maybe the prompt will even inspire a new project.

Setback #3: Feeling Overwhelmed

Parrots

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, you’re in good company. The bigger the project, the more likely you are to feel overwhelmed at some point.

Solution: Break the work up into smaller phases or steps. (“Bird by Bird,” as Anne Lamott would say).

An outline helps here, too.

Setback #4 Feeling Lost

One type of overwhelm happens when you don’t have a sense of the structure or scope of your writing.

Solutions: At the risk of sounding like a broken record, a strong outline can help you overcome this lost feeling and get a sense of your bearings. Your outline may change. You may feel unsure of it. It doesn’t matter. Just work with it, or let it change. Just having an outline, no matter how dynamic it is, should help you feel more grounded.

If scope is the issue, consider whether your book is too ambitious in scope. Are you trying to capture more than one target market? If yes, that’s a no-no.

Consider, too, what your target market most needs and wants; trying to give them everything on the topic may not just make you feel lost, but it may overwhelm your readers as well. “Less is more” rings true! Save some of the details for a paid course or another next step your readers can take when they finish reading your book.

Setback #5: Hating What You Write

You put so much of yourself into your writing. When you hate what you write it can feel completely deflating. “Why am I even writing a book?” “My writing sucks.” Critical self-talk can be nasty. So just tell that voice to take a hike!

imagine a reader
Photo by Bryan Delgado on Unsplash

Solutions: One tip I love is to imagine writing to one reader in your target market. It could be a real person (your sister-in-law) or an imaginary avatar you’ve created in your mind. When you do that, the writing automatically becomes more intimate and specific. You may see a marked difference from that one change alone.

It’s also important to realize that your first (or second or third) draft is not the final product. You’ll be getting input from beta readers and an editor or two. So, if you’re on a first rough draft, give yourself permission to write something that stinks. You’ll make it amazing when you edit – and I have lots of editing advice to help you do that.

If you’re already in the editing stage, then read this article for 7 tips to make your writing tighter, or these 3 tips to make the writing more compelling.

Another option is to get into a playful mood. Consider the writing an experiment. Remain curious to see how it goes. No pressure, dude.

Setback #6: Self-doubt or Imposter Syndrome

Most writers experience some form of self-doubt from time to time (or even consistently).

Solution: The key is to let go of that critical voice – thank it for its opinion and move on. Remind yourself why you want to write. Get in touch with the transformation you’re making possible for your readers. When you take the emphasis off you and whether you’ll look bad (an ego and fear-based problem) and focus on the difference you want to make for your readers, you’ll find it easier to write.

If you question the value of what you’re writing about, remind yourself what knowledge, wisdom and skills you have that can help your readers.

If you’re worried about your writing skills (as opposed to your credentials for writing about this specific topic), remember that you can hire an editor to help you polish the writing later.

Setback #7: The Loneliness of Writing

It’s easy to downplay the loneliness of writing. We often think something along the lines of, “If I were truly a writer, I should be able to write any time, regardless of the circumstances.

The truth is that it can be hard to maintain momentum if it’s all up to you. Most people need more support than that (especially some of the most successful writers). Support can mean:

I’d like to especially highlight my program, Get Your Writing Done, in case it’s a possible fit for you to uplevel your writing progress and complete a book or other project.

In Get Your Writing Done, you get:

#1 An Online Super-Inspiring Writing Group

  • One of the most important elements of success: a regular time and place to meet online and write
  • Guidance and a system for getting into a state of flow so that you write your most inspired work.
  • The support of the group energy and a committed guide (me!)
  • The opportunity to ask questions of a seasoned expert, share challenges, get help solving your biggest writing problems and more.

#2 My most effective resources for writing, self-editing, book writing (in particular) and publishing

  • Self Study classes to walk you through everything from a book concept and structure to completing a first draft (resources that normally cost $97 – $1297
  • Exclusive videos, audios and articles with my best advice plus tips and knowledge from industry insiders, including top literary agents, publishers and more.
  • Guidebooks for writing a book proposal, self-editing and more.

Find out more about Get Your Writing Done or email me to set up a call to see if this program is for you.

How to Stay Focused—and WRITE!

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stay focused and write
Photo by Brittany Bendabout on Unsplash

Do you struggle with how to stay focused on your writing? You’re not alone. Just a few tweaks can help you break through the challenge and write in a state of inspired flow.

Her Breakthrough in Focus

On a call with a Bring Your Book to Life® participant, she shared her recent breakthrough:

As a busy freelancer she had trouble making time for her writing. When she sat down to write she often became distracted by pressing business activities on her to do list. 

What finally freed her was turning off her phone. “I lost track of time. Two and a half hours later I realized how immersed I’d become. I didn’t want to stop but I had to get some food!”  

She reports that the solid block of undisturbed time helped her get more focused and productive. “I got much clearer on my outline and moved things around with post-it notes like you showed us in class.” Her writing flowed with ease once she had a clearer outline and undisturbed time to write.

[bctt tweet=”How to Stay Focused on Writing” username=”LisaTener”]

writingHaving your phone on, checking email, online shopping (or even research) can distract you from making progress with your book. Here’s how to stay focused on writing:

  1. Identify typical—and potential—distractions.
  2. Take specific actions to prevent these distractions. For example, turn your phone off; write in a place where no one and no device will find you (perhaps writing outdoors); put a do not disturb sign on your door.
  3. Plan your breaks to invigorate rather than distract. For example, set a timer for stretch breaks or even step outside and take some deep breaths, moving your body in ways that energize you. 

Read more: Check out these 7 writing productivity tips;  9 ways to connect with your creative muse and 5 Ways to Get Unstuck in your writing.

What distracts you from writing? What do you do to stay focused? Share any commitments you are making to stay focused on your writing today or this week.

[bctt tweet=”Give Your Writing Practice a Boost!” username=”LisaTener”]

Get Your Writing Done!

One of the best ways to stay focused and write is to create an environment conducive to writing. My most recent program helps you do just that.

Give your writing practice a boost by joining me (and my two amazing colleagues, Laurie Hunt and Sharon Burton) to write Thursdays from 11:30 AM ET to 1:30 PM ET, or Wednesdays 8-10 pm ET:

In the program:

  • You’ll learn my favorite creativity-inducing exercises.
  • You can work on a specific project or just let yourself be inspired by the writing prompts I provide.
  • You’ll learn my secrets for writing in a state of flow.
  • You’ll have the nourishing support and accountability needed to show up to writing.
  • You’ll get writing done, every single week that you show up!

If you’ve been thinking of taking a class with me, but were intimidated by the bigger commitment of my other programs, Get Your Writing Done offers a perfect opportunity to learn some of my best tools for writing, get your questions answered personally on the calls, and make progress on your book, blog, articles or other writing. I’ve also priced this system to fit just about any budget.

I’d love to help you achieve a BREAKTHROUGH in writing with ease—every time.

Click Here to Get all the details.

Your Bonuses

I’ve bundled in lots of extras including my most popular self-study book writing programs and the materials we use in my Bring Your Book to Life(R) Program. I include videos, audio meditations, ebooks on writing, revision and creative flow and much more.

You’ll find all these resources on the program website; yet your monthly fee is just a fraction of what I charge for these programs when sold individually.

Yet, even if you never use these bonuses and just show up for the writing sessions, you’ll receive incredible value — imagine what it will do for your life and/or your business when you complete your writing projects and bring them out in the world!

And if you’re not ready to share with the world, that’s fine too. You can use the program to journal, for personal growth, to explore genres or just write for the love of writing.

Find out more about Get Your Writing Done here.

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